What Gives

How is it from one relationship to the next, no two are anywhere close to similar? Relationships vary so drastically from one to the other that I can't even seem to see a correlation between myself in one relationship to myself in the next. I feel as though I am a completely different person. Deep down I know that I am me, and no matter what, nothing will change who I am. My values and beliefs lie rooted firm within me, but there is something about each relationship that I feel I change somewhere within.

Perhaps it is that we all become a little wiser, a little more mature with each relationship that we go through and experience. Perhaps it is that each past relationship defines who we are and who we become in the future. Or maybe it is that with each passing relationship we are able to see what it is we like and what it is we dislike about the previous people/relationships/situations causing us to look for what it is we do like and do want in our next relationship and in the future.

Is dating really just an elimination process in the road to finding someone that we can see ourselves settling down with? By dating are we really finding what it is we want and don't want in our future spouses/significant others?

When it comes to relationships I cannot say I am the most experienced person out there. I was 18 when I had my first boyfriend and that lasted a solid 3 months. At 19 I had gone off to university and was dating someone who was a 5 hour car ride away. Not exactly the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Maybe it was that I was scared. Maybe I hid behind being in a relationship as a way to protect myself from possibly getting hurt. Or maybe it was a self-confidence issue. Maybe I just wasn't ready to be out in a co-ed environment with the chance to meet new people. Perhaps I was just naive.

Having only been in 2 previous relationships, it is needless to say that relationships baffle and confuse me. What is it about human nature that makes us crave that closeness and the comfort? How is it that relationships and the possibility of something new elicits butterflies in the stomach? What is it that makes us so flustered around the ones that we want? And how is that with each passing and new relationship we all of a sudden become a little wiser and a little more mature?

Is this all part of our life plans? Does each new relationship define what we want from new partners?

When it comes to dating... What gives?